Didn't really recognize this divine place I am moving towards.
This calm.
In the midst of my chaotic,middle of my day, when the schedule really starts to heat up, I was apologized to for "them" having taken up my time, because they know how busy I am. And as naturally & matter-of-factly I said, just like that, "no worries, as it's all good. My life is mostly in disarray, from sun-up to sun-down, & this new found bliss or calm you hear in my voice, is "my chaotic chi place". So what's up? There's always time for you!".
It was a couple hours later that I realized how prolific what I just said was!
Did I just unconsciously slide right into an ephiphany?
Did I just unconsciously slide right into an ephiphany?
In that moment I had absolutely no influence from my past--no little voice inside my head telling me,
"you don't do this"
or
"you don't do that"
or
"your never gonna get it done".
bla bla bla - - -
or
"you don't do that"
or
"your never gonna get it done".
bla bla bla - - -
Instead, there was this moment to which only could have happened because I was actually being present.
I was being present in the moment!
HOLY BALLS!!
Anyone who knows me, knows me as the a person with FAR TO MANY THINGS going on.
Doors open !!
Drawers open !!
Never-ending TO-DO list !!
The "HOW DO YOU DO IT?!" list.
The - "How do you raise three kids?"
The - "How do you not collapse?"
The - "When do you sleep?"
The - "I can't believe you get all that done in a morning?!!"
The - "AND, you run a business?"
The - "When do you take time for you?"
It's a huge never-ending list of inquiries. And you know what I discovered?
All this time, I've been searching for time, when the time I was wasting, looking for time, was the time I should have been present & engaging as me!
Did you catch that? Let me say it again only louder!!
All this time, I've been searching for time, when the time I was wasting, looking for time, was the time I should have been present & engaging as me!
My life is me!
I am living the life I created.
That's about me.
I've had the perspective wrong all this time.
I've spent SO MUCH time trying to carve out time for "me time" , when it was me just trying to get away from me!
I guess it is easier to say mommy time
I am living the life I created.
That's about me.
I've had the perspective wrong all this time.
I've spent SO MUCH time trying to carve out time for "me time" , when it was me just trying to get away from me!
I guess it is easier to say mommy time
or
lizzi time
or
girl-friend time
or
or
a small get-away time
or
quiet time...
All definitely me-time, but really, me time is every single minute of every-single-day!
or
quiet time...
All definitely me-time, but really, me time is every single minute of every-single-day!
How could I be missing so much?
My perspective changed.
The way I looked at things changed.
The way I internalized things changed.
The gratitude I feel in my heart, changed.
NO, I'm not a decade older either. (That actually crossed my mind--"did I just turned 50 or something, have a change in life & miss the last 4 years?) But, no. It wasn't a milestone that gave me moment to pause & be in receipt of this tremendous view...
It was that single moment, in my everyday life, that I was present for...and listening...
I was present for & listening.
I was present for & listening.
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