Last Two Petals

It seems vaguely familiar,
This light that is blinding me.
As my feet are cold & wet.
There's muddy sand trapped between my toes.

There's only two petals left on my daisy.
This isn't turning out like I thought.

          I can't see what's in front of me.
                Everything is piercing white.
                                                     There's only these last two petals...
          

The draft is pushing me from where I was.
Almost forcing me into the white light.
With it, there's damp.      
And cold. 
                It smells of mud & moss.

I turn away from the burning sunlight.
The heavy cold draft rushes over my face. 
                                                  Calm.
I thought I'd melt in the light.
The cold dark was comforting.



I step...toes first, touching with my fingertip the last two petals...
humming random notes with each breath. 
The cold puddles rinse the grit from my toes. 
I have a romantic swagger in this darkness..
in this cold.

With the tug of each petal, I release part of my life.
In this space, my soul feels its pain.
                                               I release it.
one petal...it was good.
another petal...it was bad.
My life....
....and so on. 
                 humming non-sense.
Would it have turned out differently?
One more or less petal?
Too my end.
                As it should be.

I can barely drag my feet,
As I pull another petal for the draft to carry.
I feel the cold seep in.

the last petal.
I am on my knees... exhausted & without fear.
I kiss the last petal.
                               My last breathe leaves.
                                                       together we gently swallow to the water.
There to rest in our death.
Our end.

I had wished to leave without pain in me.
In that last petal.
                      I was distracted to a gentler place.
They have freed me of my anguish.
Their innocence engaged me,
yet by my own decree.

Those last two petals released me.
                                             I am free from thee.



Ladyp Enrhyn, photographed by Barek Art

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