Let Downs All Around

This is a good mantra to repeat when you are a person with great ambition. 

Because in all reality, ambition is blind to reality more often than not. 

Ambitious people take on to much. 

There have been books written about it & products galore, 

just to help "curb" doing everything! 

It's all the dance around guilt. 

All kinds of guilt. 

Guilt about letting yourself or someone else down. 

Then there's all the guilt underneath the self & others.

There lies the "not everything".

And then, if you haven't already beat yourself up bad enough,

there are those nasty expectations. 

The beginning stages of insanity.

We work really hard at silencing that voice in the back of our heads that says,

"you know how this is going to turn out!"

or 

"you already have far too many things on your plate."

or 

"there you go again, putting others first & being the one who is suffering."

Letting yourself down & others in the vicious circle of this 

seemingly unconscious process that's become a character flaw.

 But, you slap a wet blanket on that inner voice & go ahead & do it anyways.

Results = L E T D O W N
Now the blame game.

You either beat yourself up or blame them for the emotional train wreck

you KNEW you were headed into.

It more resembles insanity really.
While the consideration that either you or them would be

remotely human & make mistakes.

Or it could be a coincidence.

Or unintentional?

It's a bunch of bla-bla-bla revolving in your head 

about a conscious act you continue to repeat.

You know you know.

You know what to do.

 Yes, at some point you get sick of your own lashings.

Of letting yourself & others down.....good, bad or ugly in intent.

And, eventually, the clouds part, 

the sun comes out & the light 

being shown upon another intentional fuck up

is the straw that breaks the camels back.

You can't go back.

You can only move forwards.

It starts with the ten-second rule.

Before you open your mouth, count.

And only then, be clear about what comes out!

There's courage in your voice, 

why not make it worth the space it will take up

once put out there?

But sometimes, it comes out.

Emotion.
Experience.
Knee-jerk.

Impulsivity.
And there it is.....

the 

BIG,

FAT,

Let-Down.

And then it's rinse & repeat 

or go home & live for another day.
But don't wrap yourself up in any more guilt or even worse,

r e g r e t.

If you slide head first into regret, you're walking through life backwards.

And the only flowers back there to water

have long since died.

Turn around,

put on your big girl panties & allow in what it is.

Nature taking its course.

Because the funny thing is,

more often than not,

people are drawn to each other for reasons.

And forgiveness & understanding come from love.

And even though some have more let downs than others,

eventually, we come back around.

Either to ourselves. 

Or to those we've let down or been let down by.

Because it's human nature.

And you can dwell in the house of
should-a, could-a, would-a.

Or you can use those moments to grow into

a more beautiful human than 

you already are....

even though you'll eventually be

 a letdown.

This is for all those whom I've let down....with what's done, I now send my love.