I Stand Alone

I Stand Alone
In many things I do
It's not always by choice,
Or even because I want to...
So often,
it's just a matter of circumstance,
a fact of life.
So often 
I Stand Alone
and I just don't want to.

Then there's the times I think I'm in the lead,
the one who's ahead.
When I stop...
shit, there's no one behind me...
I Stand Alone.
Or when I got pushed,
And told, "you do it!"...I stood there...alone.

I Stand Alone mostly as a matter of consequence.
Like, when I am waiting to hear the results for something that might be bad news...
I don't really want to be alone.
OR
When you might win! Then I want someone there to jump for joy with and definitely NOT be alone.
OR 
When I am feeling over-whelmingly grateful, happy, in LOVE, appreciative, thankful...then I want that someone who's invoked those feelings there, so I can give them a HUG!

BUT
sometimes, no matter what...
I so often end up alone.
I've resolved it as a lesson being repeated that I have not learned. Standing in public spaces or wrapped up in heart-wrenching moments, I Stand Alone.
Alone at the bus stop...not another soul to chat with.
OR
Waiting in a line at a store...cashiers can be so cold & matter of fact.
OR
Expecting a call or hoping for a letter to come.
OR
When your heart has been broken & your in a room of people.

Sometimes, you burn a bridge & even the most loyal of friends abandon you...
...that's when you are really standing alone.


Sometimes I Stand Alone when I have protested my opinion firmly on something that is in desperate need of a voice to shout to the masses & tell its story, while everyone thinks you've plum gone mad!
That's when I proudly Stand Alone.
Sometimes we have to take walks that no one else can walk...
Down paths that have no matter to them, only you.
It is then I Stand Alone.

When these moments control my time, I look to my faith to remind me of this journey.
That within each moment that I Stand Alone, I am given a stronger foundation of ME to stand on.
So that one day, when I am out front, either from being pushed or by choice, or with those that followed or also know...
I am wrapped with a different kind of courage, as
I Stand Alone.