There's a certain amount of self torture in being an artist. It's the push against that behavior that steers us away from our art. Like an addict, we come back to it. We either become comfortable with this vicious circle & pang to our existence or just plain go friggin crazy! I'm leaning towards the "I know I seem a bit crazy--that's because in the "normal" world, I AM!" kinda comfortable place to be...I believe that falls in between the panging existence & friggin crazy!
I used to sit in circles of could-a, would-a, should-a's...it was killing me. I was completely suffocating & the pain of being there & listening to the broken record was driving me back to illicit drug use. AND, by all my experience, I KNOW, despite the temporary blissful insanity of that journey, it leaves you broke, your skin (amongst other things) looking like complete shit! & everything you left behind to consume copious amounts of whatever, the problems that are still there--except your brain hurts more. Not to mention you acquire a whole new set of friends that have nothing in common with you, except the trip you've jut been on to la-la-la-whateva'.
SO...NOW WHAT?!
PERSPECTIVE!
Where to get it?
KARMA always brings it...!
KARMA slipped this in front of me this morning as I moved from thing to thing...
How To Feel Miserable As An Artist
(or what not to do)Constantly compare yourself to others.
I actually gave this up in art school. I learned quickly that when you do this, they take your ideas & mind fuck you so they can have the artistic advantage. My art is not about them! That's not why your doing art! If it were they would be considered your client & you would be working for someone. It's about what's inside. Something you have to share with the world--timing is everything & then again it's nothing. Doing art is a life's work. Appreciation for others work is good karma.
Talk to your family about what you do & EXPECT them to cheer you on.
This will never change, EXCEPT the EXPECT part. I'm my biggest cheerleader & nobody else! Although, I do, by habit & nature, keep looking to my family for understanding...and they keep thinking I'm crafty. Um. Yeah...crafty. nice.
Base the success of your entire career on one project.
This reminds me of the guy who caught the winning football just as the clock ran out to win the state championship for their school. And that's the story they tell every reunion...every party...every fucking time you see them at a social engagement!! This is death! Not happening. No way, no how. A great project is great, but that's the step to the next great project...and so on and so forth...art is a lifetime project! Each project is inspiration to something more--success OR failure!
Stick with what you know.
Here's the deal...I DON'T KNOW SHIT! I mean, I know a lot about a lot of things, mastered none of them as far as I am concerned, but could never imagine picking any one of those things & sticking with it. Again...this is death! The older I get the more I appreciate the liability of distraction...it is the insatiable appetite of curiosity! It keeps me exploring ideas & mediums & solutions to problems. NO STICKING ALLOWED!
Undervalue your expertise.
Got this perspective most recently. First I need to have a handle on what my expertise is. I've been walking around feeling more like a Jack-Of-All-Trades & Master-Of-None. If I truly embraced what I am an expertise in, then, maybe I would have some basis for determining my value. But then again, that makes me feel like I'm sticking to what I know, which contradicts my curious nature. I 'm already the only one of my kind--an original. So just being that, I should know what my value is. Although, I am a generous woman to fault. Generosity undermines my value. I will have to re-visit this about myself, as put a value on my "expertise" doesn't align with the economic reality of my world. Finding a balance & worth is of more value right now.
Let money dictate what you do.
Where do you think the term "starving artist" originated from? Artists either have great vanity in their work & reap those financial benefits. Or they never worry about money because they are to busy being creative & engaged in the moments of brilliance. This is a generality with perspective. If you want to make a living with your art, then money will dictate what you produce. I mean, everyone could love & appreciate your shit, but if they aren't buying it, the light to the gallery get shut off & your dead in the water. BUT, they love your work! Balance...being highly sought after...while recognizing when your starving!!
Bow to societal pressures.
Hmmmmm....makes me think of the photography industry. We've gone from plates, to film, to digital camera's, to no film, to electronic devices, to now Photoshop & cloud storing. There was a time of tactical appreciation for capturing a moment in time. You could pick up a picture, flip through a photo album & appreciate a photo on the wall. NOW? Society wants it now, with no regard to quality, just the latest technology that's the fastest...the easiest...the most convenient. Industries dissolve as time passes. But, to allow impulsivity to define character, class & respect for gifted artist by replacing them with self-serving methods of operation is succumbing to society's demands. Roads that diverge in the woods....
Only do work that your family would love.
I tried to fill this mold for years, but by my basic nature I completely failed & fell short of their acceptable ways of living. I remember going to family reunions, where & my cousins, aunts & uncles sarcastically asking so what are you doing now? hahahaha. I replied with, "you can't keep up? I'm doing what I want! I'm not miserable doing something I hate." They all looked down & shut-up. Don't condemn someone because you don't understand their method of operation. It's their life. Family never has a clue.
Do whatever the client/customer/gallery owner/patron/investor asks.
Um...yeah. Note to bowing above & if your are the expert then...um...I guess they should be consulting you? This I know from my remodeling business. Clients have said, "well so & so said bla bla bla...and they are the expert." I replied with, "expert in what?" That's all well & good if it resolves the design project to meet your needs. BUT, does it?" Unless my art is created under criteria of a client, it's all about my interpretation. If it's created under the criteria of a client, it's all about EXCEEDING their criteria. Knowing the difference here determines the value of my end product....ah-ha! Maybe I am an expert in something?!
Set unachievable/overwhelming goals, to be achieved by tomorrow.
NOW, I think I'll go "craft" something...
...but not feel miserable.
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