TO DO List

I came across this the other day, printed it out & glanced at it for near a week before really settling in to read it...and re-read it...and read it again.


I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS NOW!


And, as easily as I printed it off, I discarded it back onto my desk. Amongst the piles and piles of papers all flagged for the same thing...deal with it later. Read it later. Follow-up on this. Share this with so-and-so. Until today. My eye caught the last word...RELAX
Eh-hem...something I long for...wish for...dream about being able to do without any effort. You've met those people. They are the ones that nothing ruffles their feathers. They go with the flow. They can let it just roll off, like their a duck or something! The people who actually DO yoga!? OK, since I proclaimed this year to be anything but dull. I proclaimed it wouldn't be boring...so I am gonna STOP being a could-a, should-a, would-a kind-a gal and embrace the concept in my own way! (That's the "not gonna be boring part") I am going to define my version of relax. I am gonna start at the beginning.  Respond to each item AND at the end I will have resolved some things that will lead me to the state of being-- RELAXED. 
Right ON!! I'm feeling more relaxed already...or am I responding to a creative challenge and confusing things? OH YEAH...I'm re-defining "relax" to suit me.


HAVE A MISSION I've been in the process of determining that, which would be in direct contradiction to this whole piece. So since I am living life without "boredom" I will proclaim my mission:

My mission for 2012 is to clear out all the clutter in my life. To create a working symmetry between function of tasks & design by my nature.    To engage in writing without all the rules & fears I've been stiffed with my entire life. To couple these things with a humble grace bringing release from such burdens I've carried. To embrace ME without questioning my right to self love <3

PLAN AHEAD OK, I'm ADHD & some days I just absolutely loath it. I continue to read and explore new ways  of being better prepared, but seem to always fall short. But, then again, it's not my way of managing, it's someone else's...so if I let go of that expectation and make my own, I am more likely to find what works best for me and find success. But I'll still get a watch, OK?!

QUESTION EVERYTHING Divorce, small monthly payments to an attorney & backlash from religious experiences makes this an easy one accomplish!
LISTEN I am statistically with the rest of the world on this one, UNLESS (here's where ADHD is innate) it is something the gets the juices flowing and pumps up the right side of my brain...I am not completely engaged. I consciously work at being an "active listener"...but I am so easily distracted..."SQUIRREL!" So when all else fails, I say use your non-verbal to imply your undivided attention and interest...while the rest you can wing.
COLLABORATE I am an extrovert. And collaboration is always such a great concept...but somehow only works for me as a motivator towards something. I think it's a great point to force myself into releasing that control and trusting in the collaborators...even when they fall short, as I inevitably expect them to do. Sometimes just giving someone else the reigns and trusting in that no matter what. (ADDENDUM: unless it affects my financial gain, then collaboration is a gloried version of delegating).
ASSUME NOTHING This only works if you have gone through the process of the previous motions; having a mission while planning ahead and listening while collaborating...if I have gone through these effortlessly I will not have to make up for my grievous way by assuming anything. Although I question everything, which contradicts assumption, unless you are a day late and a dollar short, then assumptions become your future excuse, rationalization or justification to whatever assumption you just made in the heat of the moment. PHEW! AKA Ego Check.
STUDY THE PAST I used to smoke a bowl before going to history class in high school (circa 1983). It was the only means of me getting through it without going completely insane. AND YES, I absorbed nothing except an utterly groovy state of mind but learned, only with age and utter disgust in politics, did I find a relationship between history and my art. We need the points of reference to build on. To understand. To have clarity and perspective. Learn from the mistakes and triumphs of the past...the more things change, the more they stay the same. That there are very few truly gifted people in the world, but through them we can re-invent, re-design, re-purpose, re-use and re-mind ourselves of how far we've come.
KEEP IT SIMPLE KISS. Learned this in college! Except we added another "S" for stupid. Seriously!!
COMMUNICATE DRAW A DIAGRAM And people thought bar napkins were for soaking up the sweat from your glass!? Besides, far more interesting than a graph.
NEVER SELL OUT Integrity and ethics can challenge the most devaught believers in whatever and whomever! 
PUSH HARDER ADHD. Perfectionist. Small business owner. Artist. Mother of 3 whom are predisposed to their mothers characteristics? Oh YEAH, I PUSH HARDER...every friggin' day!!!! How else do you come out of chaos for an end of the day beverage?!
SAY WHAT YOU MEAN I've been told I have a tenancy to be sometimes to off the cuff, but I am saved by my kindness and good intentions. PHEW!
BE OPEN Once you have courage through your voice it's easy to be open about things that most people would feel utter regret sharing...like I smoked POT!! Good lord, it's was organic then and an easy place to go in times of needed creativity. It was not anything unusual for the times and well over twenty years ago. It was part of those formidably years, and I regret nothing. BE FORE WARNED: I have found pleasure in serving up my opinion or position on sometimes controversial matters...but am open for dialog and differing views. Who knows, I could easily learn something new!?
ROLL UP YOUR SLEEVES White poplin shirts are far more artistic and attractive with the sleeves cuffed up partway.OH YEAH, we're gonna get dirty! Maybe a blister and for heaven's sake, quite possibly a callus...dig in!
DREAM Artist! Right Brain! Evolved substance user! HELLO??!! Now if I could just find a way to get my children to not spend so much time dreaming...nnnaaaaaa.
WELCOME CHANGE I am always the first to suggest something new. Or a different way of looking at things. Try it...it might surprise you. Change IS NOT a tag word--it's an conscious positive action towards growth.
ADD VALUE Without it you have no growth. Random Acts of Kindness. Making someone smile when their sad. Taking the positive perspective, despite the circumstances. 

"We cannot live for ourselves alone. Our lives are connected by a thousand invisible threads, and along these sympathetic fibers, our actions run as causes and return to us as results."

~ Herman Melville

www.dumblittleman.com/2008/11/are-you-adding-value.html
AIM HIGHER Growth needs motivation. And as I remember it, even just reaching for the moon, will still land you amongst the stars. 
FOSTER INTUITION When we teach our children about safety, we teach them skills & give them vital information on what to do. We also tell them to listen to their guts. Somehow when we stop using that intuition. Most people can rationalize to why they ignored what their guts were telling them, BUT not WHY?! It's not childish or foolish to harness you intuition and its even greater to draw that out in someone. Divine Intervention. 
DO MORE WITH LESS This is not for the lazy mind or body. Our world of consumerism has confused this with easier. When we give away our energy and critical thinking in trade for stimulation and immediate gratification, we create waste in so many forms. To Be Still and Engage In the Moment gives us the chance to look at things differently and respond differently. A conscious act of clear choice.
LAUGH When you live with depression, laughter is something you seek. Not because you don't want to...but because so often you just can't. Its the best way to make your lungs feel clear, your skin feel tingly, your thoughts refreshed and your heart and soul purified. 
INNOVATE Think outside the box...I say, decorate the box as you see fit. Color it mine. Hang shit from it. Cut a door and window in the side of it so you stay connected to main street then go ahead and plant flowers...and great things will come forth!
THINK SIDEWAYS  NO curistic bias here. It's all about "lateral" thinking or something that comes out of left field! This is ME!! This is what everyone tells me! They say, "lizzi? Where did you come up with that idea?!..."I don't know, it just popped into my head!" I'm NOT as crazy as everyone says I am. I just THINK SIDEWAYS! Yeah! Another label for the resume and each social media connection point I have!! You know though, this is the grandest of all perspectives! If anyone is familiar with "James and the Giant Peach", they will understand this view...try looking at a different way (literally).
FOCUS In my vanity to concur ADHD, it wold be evolutionary to replace the "H" with a "F". Just that simple change would make daily living less chaotic...but then again there's a certain amount of energy & cataclysmic creativity that comes with chaos. Hhhmmm, may have to work on redefining the "F" that works best for me!
MEAN WHAT YOU SAY 
If I say your being an a**hole...your being an a**hole. 
If I say I am truly blessed and grateful beyond words, I am. 
If I say I'm fine...well that makes me a stereotypical woman who's lying to you, and things are not fine. 
If I say something that sounds quite off the cuff, it is and I am not engaged in the moment and distracted with other things. It is so very ADHD of me and for that I apologize. 
If I say trust me on this one, I know...have faith and believe. 
If I say why? I need more information. 
If I compliment you, and you think its a bunch of crap, its not and I will remind you of your worth. 
If I say He is there for you, believe me,not because I am an example of pure faith, but because I have witnessed His divinity in others, and I wouldn't steer you wrong. Somethings just just can't explain, just have faith in.
TAKE IT TO THE EDGE Nobody took it to the edge better than Shel SIlverstein in "Where the Sidewalk Ends"...and in every single word he wrote. Although Dr. Suess runs a close second.
ALSO,
"Technique is just a means of arriving at a statement." 
~ Jackson Pollack (51)
RELAX I'm relaxed now. I guess I'm not so bad. My life's not so bad. And what I give back to this world is pretty, OK. This is a relax I like...a warm fuzzy feeling all over. Patting myself on the back and feeling self worth for who and what I am...EVEN IF it's not in the box your were expecting.